The Art of Well Being – Part 2

Dr. Tony Uncategorized

Last week we began an exploration of the art of well being. This week I’d like to continue by looking at some pitfalls that we all fall into at various times in our lives. These pitfalls can become blindspots.

When we’re Discovering we tend to focus on what’s not working. Obviously if you’re going to address what’s not working, you need to focus on it. This is also a pitfall of Discover. We can have a tendency to operate only in Discover in that we are always focusing on what’s not working. Seeing and feeling the pain points all the time can affect our moods, our energy levels, our self-esteem and can lead to chronic anxiety and depression. We can get into a cycle of avoiding the pain, then focusing on it, then avoiding it and so on.

One of the ways to avoid this pitfall is to make sure that you’re always including a focus on what IS working in your life. We can get tunnel vision and only see what’s not working to the point that we miss all the beauty, miracles and blessings that are right in front of us every day.

In Transform, one of the pitfalls is to change for change’s sake. We can get into the habit of always looking for change, ways to destabilize ourselves, or create a mess to clean up. And we lose sight of acknowledging or even celebrating our accomplishments. We can become addicted to change as a way to avoid feeling like we’re not enough. One of the ways to extricate ourselves from this pitfall is to feel/acknowledge/celebrate the results of the changes that we’ve made, even if the change seems miniscule. When we acknowledge and celebrate even small victories, we reinforce the brain with positive reward chemical cascades which in turn creates more opportunities to celebrate!

We’ve all known someone who has found themselves in a pitfall of Awaken. They tend to have rose-coloured glasses on all the time; everything is wonderful. They may not want to look at or consider that life isn’t wonderful everywhere. When you’re in this pitfall, there becomes no need to Discover (what is or isn’t working) or to Transform anything. So you end up feeling like you’re not only floating but also drifting. When you’re in Faux-Awaken, there’s no need to have difficult, growth-stimulating conversations, or to take a stand and count for something.

The way to snap out of this pitfall is to reconnect into your body and “get grounded”. Life isn’t always pretty and sometimes it is. And if you can’t notice the difference, well then even heaven can become monotonous.

The key to Discovering, Transforming and Awakening and not falling into the pitfalls is to Integrate one with another. By looking also at what IS working, you integrate Transform into Discover by shifting or changing your mental focus. By celebrating victories and acknowledging how far we’ve come, we integrate Awaken into Transform by being grateful for the change that has happened. And by reconnecting into your body, you integrate Discover into Awaken.

By Integrating these different ‘Seasons’ (Discover, Transform, Awaken) we can learn to artfully create more well being in our lives.