When you stretch out a rubber band as far as it can go, and you let it go, it bounces quickly back into shape. This is a good example of resilience: Bouncing back into your ‘best self’. When we’re not as resilient as we could be, we get bent out of shape.
We get bent out of shape mentally and physically. Tension patterns in our bodies then can snowball and diminish our resilience.
Resilience is so important, not just while we’re in a crisis, but also in our everyday lives; when our plans can get derailed, or our expectations and needs don’t get met.
Some people assume that resilience is something that you’re born with, as if it were a character trait. In fact, resilience is a learned action of the bodymind and the automatic Operating System (aOS). We learn how to be resilient from those around us at an early age. It either is modelled for us or it’s not. And it can be practiced.
I don’t consider resilience to be the same as “positive thinking”. It’s completely normal to feel sad in the aftermath of a loss, to feel angry after we’ve been betrayed, or afraid when we experience uncertainty. We can often diminish our resilience in the moment when we try to avoid or to run away from our feelings, however powerful they can be.
“The only way out is through.” ~ Robert Frost
The key to finding resilience is in feeling whatever we need to feel in the moment without judgement or trying to understand.
Resilience is not about what happens to us. It’s about how we respond to what’s happening. It is a skill that can be continually improved upon, especially with practice. And life has a way of giving us lots and lots of opportunities to practice:).
Resilience is the difference between us being a victim of our circumstances and us having the power to choose how we want to show up in the world.
Because resilience is a function of the bodymind and aOS, we can utilize our breath, focus, movement and energy to access more resilience. This is why NeuroSpinal Optimization helps us to become more aware and resilient, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally as well.
When your aOS is more flexible and it’s more supportive of your recovery and growth, you can access more resilience through:
Prioritizing what gives you energy – there are so many things we do everyday that deplete us of energy, especially in our thinking. When we can prioritize those things that GIVE us energy (healthy food, taking charge of our lives, movement, breath, love, laughter etc.), we get fueled and can explore and grow beyond our baseline levels of resilience.
Embracing the struggle – Allow yourself to feel everything in the moment instead of disconnecting from your senses, or overwhelming some senses in order to not feel others.
Ask for help – We are not alone in our journeys. We are here to help one another.
Focus on what is working – We tend to problem solve so much that we end up focusing on the problem rather than the solution. It can feel a bit counter-intuitive to rather focus on what is working. It is a real mental and biological hack. You can quickly gain energy and momentum.
Trust that we have what we need – Over time, as we use disconnection in order to adapt to life, we disconnect from all of our inner resources such as creativity, passion, compassion, love, strength and courage. Accessing all the resources that we have starts with connecting. We are more powerful than we may realize.
Being resilient is being able to decide to show up, for yourself and others, as your own hero. This enables others around you to do the same.