I talk and write often about the difference between living in survival mode and living an energy-filled life—one that’s aligned with purpose and personal values. Being able to distinguish which mode you’re living in (survival versus growth) is one of the keys to living a good life.
When we’re living in survival mode, we tend to operate from a scarcity mentality. Our physical energy—energy that would normally be available for healing, repair, and healthy organ and tissue function—is instead being diverted by the sympathetic nervous system simply to keep us going. We’re not thriving; we’re coping.
If I had to encompass what survival mode feels like—whether or not you have symptoms or diagnosed health challenges—I would use one word: suffering.
Donny Epstein has said, “Suffering is not pain. Suffering is the inability to accept the present moment and trying to deny or escape it.” In other words, avoidance of pain—whether physical, emotional, or mental—is suffering itself. This is why it’s possible to create a state of suffering even while eating well, exercising, and “doing all the right things,” if those behaviors are driven by fear, avoidance, or a desire to outrun perceived decline.
Arthur Miller once wrote about a common misconception: that suffering is a mistake, a weakness, or a sign of illness. He suggested that some of the greatest truths we know have emerged from suffering—not because it should be eliminated, but because it should inform our lives. The problem, he argued, isn’t suffering itself, but our obsession with curing, avoiding, or anesthetizing it in pursuit of a flattened, lobotomized version of what we call “happiness.” Too often, we focus on controlling human experience rather than freeing it.
Most of us structure our lives around achieving a certain level of comfort. What “comfort” means varies widely. For some, it’s simply having a roof over their head. For others, it’s financial security, status, or the latest technology. I’m not moralizing here—just pointing out that we all seek comfort. The challenge arises when comfort becomes insulation from discomfort, pain, or uncertainty. That’s often where survival mode quietly takes over.
And for most of us, this happens unconsciously.
The existential dilemma shows up when we want more from life—better health, deeper peace, meaningful connection—but we keep trying to get there through survival strategies. Growth, by its very nature, requires us to endure discomfort. There is no prize—whether it’s a healthier body, peace of mind, or a more fulfilling life—without some willingness to move beyond what feels safe.
It’s with this understanding that I’m offering Healing Through the Spinal Gateway: A Gateway for Transformation. This is a series of in-person workshops being held throughout the year. The first session takes place on Saturday, January 24th, from 9:00 am to 12:00 pm at Happy Spine. For more details or to register, please speak with me or Ceci.
As Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman says, “The good life is not just about fixing problems, but about orienting life toward growth, meaning, and connection.”
So as this new year unfolds, I’ll leave you with this question: How are you going to orient your life toward what truly satisfies your soul?