Karen was in the other day for her regular visit. I had her focus on a contact and I asked her to lift it up towards the ceiling. Afterwards, she said that she was noticing a tightness in her tailbone. She followed with that it always seems to be there. Sometimes it’s more in the background and sometimes she’s really aware of it. When it’s more in the background she usually ignores it. When she’s more aware of it, she feels annoyed by it and wonders if it will ever go away.
I suggested to her that she doesn’t have to use those strategies anymore. By “those strategies” I mean ‘ignoring it or feeling annoyed and wondering if it will ever go away’. These strategies are some of the countless survival strategies that we employ to interact with our bodies. We can often ignore our bodies or feel inconvenienced by them. I have worked with Karen for a few months and she was able to get out of survival mode. So why would she again use survival strategies when she’s out of survival mode? Habit. Nothing more, nothing less.
So how do you change the habit of interacting with your body? By being more present with it and being curious. When you’re more present you can observe and become aware of what strategies you are using at the moment. And when you’re curious you don’t take the feelings in your body at face value and you delve deeper.
So in Karen’s case, rather than avoiding the tightness in her tailbone or getting into her head about it, she could stop what she was doing for a moment and just be present with it, focus on it, breathe into it, gently move it around. She could then observe what happens to the tightness and what happens in other areas of her body. She may notice emotions welling up inside or feelings like she’s testing her boundaries. She may notice the tightness release or she may notice how other areas of her body are also involved with the tightness.
There’s so much more to our bodily feelings than “right or wrong, good or bad”.
If you continue to use survival strategies you could end up feeling stifled or in chronic pain. You may feel like your energy is limited. Or you may find yourself having a monotonous experience of life.
And yet there is so much more waiting for you on the other side of the defenses you have built for yourself. Just because you’ve gotten used to something doesn’t mean you can’t change.