A lifelong journey of discovery

Dr. TonyNSA

Last week we looked at the underlying cause of stress and disease: Emotional patterns and early childhood stresses that are born out of lack of connection, with others and with yourself.

How are these patterns learned?

There are situations in life that just happen. There’s nothing you can do to change them. You can’t change how your dad was or how your family related to one another. But this is only one side of the equation.

The other side of the equation is how we learn to disconnect from others and ourselves, at an early age, in order to get our needs met. We will sacrifice our authenticity in order to have attachment. At some point the initial perceived reasons for the disconnect don’t matter anymore because it becomes an unconscious habit.

Unless we look at the unconscious patterns within ourselves, we can’t change and grow to our fullest potential. Just because we have acquired unconscious habits regarding how to ‘deal’ with life, it doesn’t mean that we can’t turn things around. No one wants to live with the same stresses and pains over and over again. Finding internal harmony is possible if you are willing to put in some work to find it.

If you are a living human, you can be sure that to some degree your relationships are a mix of getting your need for attachment met and suppressing your authenticity. But to what degree do you sacrifice your authenticity for attachment? At this point it is most likely an unconscious habit which without your mindful attention will keep on spinning.

I’m not suggesting that there’s anyone who is “perfect” and has it all figured out. What I am suggesting is that by uncovering your own subconscious ways of getting your needs met, you’ll be able to have a more fulfilling life with less stress and pain.

How do we change these subconscious habits?

Discovery is an experiment. You do something and you see what kind of feedback you get. You say something to someone and you see how it feels. You work your courage up and confront someone and you observe the whole mix of bodily sensations. The body can be a measuring device. And if you can pay close attention to it, you’ll be able to discern what you’re feeling, what’s real and what’s a story.

If you can become more conscious of your body’s more subtle cues, you can become more conscious of the learned patterns of meeting your needs. For me it has been a lifelong discovery. Part of the impact that I want to have in this life is to offer others the same opportunity: To discover who they really are in a connected, authentic world.

The human mind is a terrible thing not to have - Part 1
The Source of Disease