Climbing Out of the Depths of Despair

Years ago, in a different life, I was married for over a decade. The marriage eventually fell apart, we went our separate ways. I remember feeling the whole gamut of emotions at that time especially uncertainty, fear (I was so scared), anger, resentment, guilt and shame. I was in a period of intense suffering. I felt lost, couldn’t think straight, I was not productive at all, I withdrew from my life, didn’t talk to friends or family.

I was getting entrained at this time and I feel that without getting entrained I would not have found my way out of the dark forest I was lost in. I also would not have learned all that I did about myself through that lowly experience.

I distinctly remember one entrainment with great clarity. I had just had an exchange with my ex and I was reeling! I felt like the whole world was collapsing in on me, I felt such despair. After my entrainment, I recall leaving the room and standing in the reception area feeling an absolute sense of peace as well as a euphoric feeling. I’m not sure how long I stayed in that experience, but I did notice how different I felt. And here’s the kicker: nothing else had changed. My external circumstances had not somehow magically resolved, I was still going through the same separation/divorce. And yet, how could it be that I felt SO different? Was it magic? What was the point of it anyways? I mean if I could do something to completely shift my physiology and state of consciousness from despair to euphoria, then why not take some drugs or drink myself into giddiness? Why not escape my situation?

An Entrainment helps to shift your physiology and state of consciousness while teaching your nervous system how to shift on its own. So the difference that I experienced wasn’t one where I lost sight of myself or where I lost consciousness. What the entrainment helped me do was to find MYSELF. In all that was happening I had lost my connection to ME, my connection to my essence, to who I really am. I was too far down the road of identifying myself with my external circumstances and inner beliefs (a recipe for suffering). You can imagine that if you identify yourself with your car, house, job or something outside of yourself, or marriage (in my case) and you stand to lose it, your sense of self can go with it.

What I learned that Day

So one of the things that I learned was that who I was, my identity, was separate from my marriage. I could start reclaiming a sense of self that I had given away and in some ways, never really had to begin with.

I learned that even though nothing else had changed, I had changed. The way I feel doesn’t have to have anything to do with what’s going on in my life.

The beliefs I was paying attention to before the entrainment seemed very solid, tangible, real and unchangeable. After the entrainment, my beliefs were no longer controlling my thoughts and feelings. The entrainment gave me a chance to see that I CAN control my beliefs. My life didn’t have to continue being coloured by shame and guilt. It’s not about making myself believe some fairy tale; it’s about being aware of the beliefs that I do have (subconsciously) and that they don’t need to control my emotions, moods and state of mind.

What I continue to learn through entrainments is an internal knowing of my state and how my beliefs are interacting with my emotions and the present situation. I’m able to observe myself more rather than just be an unconscious player. And that is hugely empowering!

What about you? Have you ever had a similar type of experience with an entrainment? I’d love to hear about it! It’s time to reclaim yourself! Think of all the times you have lost a part of yourself because you gave it away as you lost an external ‘thing’ or internal belief. You are better than having shame, guilt, fear, anger or resentment colour your experience of life!