Apart from the possibility of the existence of aliens among us, we’re all having a human experience.
History tells us that the human experience encompasses many different states. People have seen much suffering, blame and guilt, and frustration. In addition to these states, people have also expressed energy in taking back their power whether individually or as a group. They’ve been able to see things for how they really are and not as they thought things were. And we’ve also experienced feelings of spirituality or we long to.
Tony Robbins has been around for many years. His main raison d’être is to see the WHY; why is it that we do what we do and how can we maximize that process. He speaks of the 4 human needs of the individual and the 2 human needs of the spirit or soul.
The 4 human needs of the individual:
- Certainty/Safety
- Uncertainty/Variety
- Significance/Importance/Uniqueness
- Love/Connection
The 2 human needs of the spirit or soul:
- Growth
- Contribution beyond ourselves
One of the most common experiences we all have at one time or another is self-pity or feeling sorry for ourselves. Why would we do this? Is it because of a lack of self-love? Is it because that’s the way we were brought up? Sometimes we may have been feeling sorry for ourselves for so long, that we don’t even see that we’re doing it, that it tends to cast a shadow over how we experience our lives. So why would we choose to see the world through these “glasses”?
If you’re not seeing something, then ask a different question.
Instead of asking yourself about what are you lacking as a result of feeling sorry for yourself, ask yourself, what are you gaining from it? What is the benefit of self-pity?
Which of the four needs of the individual are being satisfied by this way of being? Is it that by feeling sorry for yourself, you are defining how you feel, you get to be right and feel certainty and/or safety? Or is it that you fulfill the need for love or self-connection this way? In as much as it’s important not to dwell on the why’s of how you got to where you’re at, it is important to shine a light especially on places where there is none. We all have blind spots; by seeing them, we empower ourselves to create new possibilities, new ways of being. When it comes right down to it, however much we’re attached to a habit, a way of seeing ourselves like self-pity, our true nature is not to be there.
If you’ve ever felt deep inside like you just wanted to be free, to feel freedom, then it takes shining a light in the dark recesses of our psyche to uncover what is there; to find the self-motivation behind the way we see things, the way we act. We act in ways that may be not helpful to us in the long run. And many of us have learned to feel guilty about it, to feel like we have to hide from ourselves and others. Feeling the way we do is not really the “sin”; the real “sin” is to not shine a light, to not find the why behind the behaviour, to not be honest with ourselves and see the benefit that this way of seeing or doing brings us. It is only then that we can free ourselves of the self-fulfilling prophecy.