“One who has a ‘why’ to live for can endure almost any ‘how’.” ~ Friedrich Nietzsche
Before you get to thinking that I am about to convey a secret of life, let’s first decide what we mean by suffering. Oxford dictionary defines suffering as “the state of undergoing pain, distress, or hardship”. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines suffering as either “to submit to or be forced to endure” or “to put up with especially as inevitable or unavoidable”. We suffer when we’re feeling powerless or helpless.
What do we do when we feel helpless or powerless? We may freeze up, withdraw or roll up into a ball. We may try to self-talk our way through it: “it’s gonna be alright, you’re going to get through this”. We may get angry or upset and lash out. We may develop a neurotic habit like an obsessive compulsion. This list is not exhaustive by any means.
When we suffer, we may actively deny/ignore/disconnect from the feeling of helplessness. Over time, this can become an unconscious habit or M.O. Which can further evolve into a part of our personality. This in turn can create more pain. So while we suffer, we try to avoid feeling helpless.
The remedy for suffering is to acknowledge and accept in the moment that we are feeling helpless and that nothing is working. The more fully we can accept this, feeling it with our bodies, a transformation occurs. It’s as if a vortex opens up, our defences soften, energy can flow once again which leads us to our inner resourcefulness.
The antidote to feeling helpless is to reconnect to our inner resources such as peace, strength, patience, love and flow. If we don’t, we run the risk of staying fragmented in body and mind. In order to avoid the feeling of suffering, we try to bury it.
When we can acknowledge the disconnected parts of ourselves, these parts are then welcomed back to the whole of us, like a prodigal child; they feel accepted and loved and become more receptive to a more empowered inner narrative.
It’s never too late to learn how to reconnect and to teach ourselves a new, more empowered and resourceful M.O. On Wednesday June 8th, Dr. Joe and I will be holding our Summer Workshop where we will be teaching exercises to help us reconnect and reclaim those fragmented parts of ourselves. This will be both an in-person and online event (your choice). Stay tuned for details!