Fear can be an ally

Dr. Tony NSA

I’m beginning to understand that one of the benefits of aging is that you can start to have a greater perspective on life, just because you’ve been around longer. More understanding helps to foster better choices and in turn we can avoid experiencing pain and regret in the last years of our lives.

Rather than “the love of life” being my motivation for a better quality life, I think I’ve come to realize that fear is motivating me. Not the fear of dying…I think the fear of dying, the fear of death, helps to keep us in a box: A box of safety and certainty. The fear that’s motivating me is the fear of not living fully before I die.

Years ago I took part in a program of self-development. In it, we all did an exercise which woke me up. It was called “Write your own Eulogy”. If you feel like looking into this further, here is a random example.

I woke up to how I had been living my life and how I really want to live. Ever since, I keep discovering how I hold myself back: habits of thinking that don’t align with my eulogy, avoiding challenging conversations, not starting something because I think I won’t do it right or perfectly the first time. I also am more discerning in creating the life I want to live. I also have discovered that just like a plant aligns itself to receive the sun more fully, when we align our habits, our thoughts, our emotions and our energies to living the life we want, our bodies respond in kind, realigning to more ease, more flow and more life.

Of all the things I can imagine in my mind that may or may not happen, one day, someone (hopefully) will be giving my eulogy and I’d like it to be a record of the impact that I’ve had in this life; how I’ve helped others (not just through my work) and how I’ve been an inspiration to others. I would like it that my life be meaningful, not just to myself but to others.

And this is what the fear of not living fully means to me. I don’t want someone giving my eulogy at my funeral to get up and say “Sorry, I got nothin.” I came across this video that you might enjoy.

It's never too late!
The Chronic Tension Solution